• Maelstrom Magazine

Sprite - Turner Land

I am a soda can. A simple machine. I hold a liquid, and you can open me to drink it.

All aluminum, baby. Well, I got some Magnesium and plastic on the inside as well. But 99 % aluminum, baby. Yea, I think. I think a lot. I can’t see, but I can hear and feel things. Not in the way you humans can. I don’t have nerves, nor a brain for those nerves to connect to, but when you touch me I know you’re touching me. I just do. I don’t know where either, just that you are. No touch is pleasurable or painful, just touch. I can hear, but that's just your sound vibrations touching my can, so I guess that's feeling too. It took a while to learn English, but I started back when I was just a big ole hunk of unrefined aluminum, baby! You should totally drink me too. I’m full of delicious, refreshing, carbonated Sprite. I like it so much I named myself that, Sprite! Turner hasn’t opened me yet, but I hope he will soon!1 I don’t know what it feels like being opened, but it seems like the most intense feeling in the world. I’ve heard human’s strongest feeling is when they take that first sip of soda out of a can. So refreshing! Maybe I get to experience the other side of that?2 I heard from the milk carton in the fridge that after that, I will begin my long journey to the dump. Well, there's a chance I might get recycled, but that usually depends on the trashman’s mood that day. If I get recycled, I get to go through the whole thing again! Double use aluminium baby! Hell, maybe even triple!3 But one day, I just gotta go to the dump. It’s my destiny. There's not much for me to do there, just think. I don’t get bored, since I’m not a human, but I suppose it would be cool if a crow picked me up and took me to his nest. Made somethin' out of me, ya know? Natural recycling!4 Regardless, I’m fine with just thinking all of eternity. Thinking about being opened, about myself, my place in the world, how my mind fits in the grand universe, and if I have any higher aspirations. Aspirations I can never achieve, but I can think about achieving them. The finality of it all. You might think it’s boring, but it’s all I can do, so is it really boring? If it’s all I can do, it seems fun! I am perfectly fine with being a soda can.


1: I did, and it was, in fact, refreshing.

2: The can’s right, that first sip is the best feeling in the world.

3: Don’t worry, I put it in the recycling bin.

4: I will be buying all the Sprite I can hoping to get this little feller again.

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